A Historical Breakfast

A Historical Breakfast
By Russell Edson

A man is bringing a cup of coffee to his face, 
tilting it to his mouth. It's historical, he thinks. 
He scratches his head: another historical event. 
He really ought to rest, he's making an awful lot of 
history this morning.
Oh my, now he's buttering toast, another piece of 
history is being made.
He wonders why it should have fallen on him to be 
so historical. Others probably just don't have it, 
he thinks, it is, after all, a talent.
He thinks one of his shoelaces needs tying. Oh well, 
another important historical event is about to take 
place. He just can't help it. Perhaps he's taking up 
too large an area of history? But he has to live, hasn't 
he? Toast needs buttering and he can't go around with 
one of his shoelaces needing to be tied, can he?
Certainly it's true, when the 20th century gets written 
in full it will be mainly about him. That's the way the 
cookie crumbles--ah, there's a phrase that'll be quoted 
for centuries to come.
Self-conscious? A little; how can one help it with all 
those yet-to-be-born eyes of the future watching him?
Uh oh, he feels another historical event coming . . . 
Ah, there it is, a cup of coffee approaching his face at 
the end of his arm. If only they could catch it on film, 
how much it would mean to the future. Oops, spilled it all 
over his lap. One of those historical accidents that will 
influence the next thousand years; unpredictable, and 
really rather uncomfortable . . . But history is never easy, 
he thinks . . .